Your Guide to Healthy Boundaries This Holiday Season
It's the most wonderful time of the year, so why are so many of us dreading the holiday season? Perhaps it's the overwhelming amount of comments and snide remarks you endure every holiday season. Maybe it is the financial strain almost everybody feels expected to take on. Or, perhaps, it is the pressure to make the holiday season magical for everyone around you.
It can be easy to forget to care for yourself this holiday season. Many of us feel more pressure to put others first during this time than at any other time of the year. It is the season of gratitude and giving- so it can feel almost illegal to do anything for yourself during the holidays, especially saying no.
Don't fall victim to that mindset this holiday season. We are here to help you develop effective ways of setting healthy boundaries this holiday season, so it really can be the most magical time of the year- for everyone.
How to Set Healthy Boundaries this Holiday Season
Healthy boundaries set the tone for how you will be treated and what behaviors you do or do not accept. Here are a few tips for setting healthy boundaries during the holidays.
Learn How to Say "No"
"No" is a complete sentence. You don't need an elaborate explanation. You don't need to debate or defend your decision. Allowing yourself to say "no" will allow you to better manage your time, energy, and schedule. Doing so will make the thing you do say "yes" to that much more special, intentional, and meaningful, allowing you to have a happy holiday season full of beautiful memories.
Set Clear Boundaries That Have Real Consequences
Set clear boundaries by using "I feel___. So I will not ____" statements with your family. This will allow your family to hear your boundaries clearly and give them a greater chance to empathize with your boundaries.
Unfortunately, the holiday season can still be full of boundary-stomping moments. Just because somebody else disregards your boundaries doesn't mean you have to. Follow your boundaries by setting and holding consequences for people who disrespect them. You can end the conversation, leave the party, refuse to respond to the text, or hang up the phone.
Be Sure to Include Restful Moments in the Schedule
Many have begun to turn the holiday season into a marathon of events. We have to attend all the holiday parades, the tree lighting ceremonies, the Christmas work parties, and end the year staying up until midnight celebrating the New Year. However, this time of year can be the longest break many get from work and other obligations. Make sure to allow yourself time to rest as you plan your holiday schedule and honor it.
Set a Budget and Stick to It
One holiday boundary many struggle with is financial boundaries. The pressure to disregard the budget as you hunt for Christmas gifts is high this time of year. Don't fall into it. Set a budget and be open with your loved ones about it.
Remember You Deserve Happy Holidays, Too
Listen to your needs as you navigate this holiday season. If you set boundaries and change your mind about them, that is okay. If the holiday celebrations get overwhelming, communicate with your loved ones and set boundaries. This season should be a magical and fun time for everyone, including you. Don't let fear of confrontation keep you overwhelmed this holiday season.
We Are Here for You
If the holidays feel overwhelmingly stressful or devastating for you, or you are still struggling to set healthy boundaries, know that you do not have to suffer alone. We are here for you. Our therapists are passionate about helping our clients understand their feelings and finding ways to get them feeling better as soon as possible. Contact us today.
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Keywords: holiday stress, family, counselor, CBT, healthy boundaries